On Pause!

A Business Case for Finding Pause

We are all in the business of behavior change, either trying to do more of what we do well or changing something that we do not do so well.  With our teams, we work on their behaviors. 

When I work with clients, I often encounter a scenario-" I want to change; it is just that I remain so busy that I forget."  The action plans don't get implemented.

Photo by Raimond Klavins on Unsplash

Running around in circles is busy while going forward is productive.  We stay busy with either "to dos" or "numbers."  We are constantly measuring, either for ourselves or for our teams. 

We ask three common questions-

• Is everything as per the plan?

• If not, what can we do?

• When will it be done?

All these are about "to dos" or about numbers.  I call this an "MS Excel" engagement.  But what about the drivers of the "to dos"?  This is an "MS Word" engagement.  There are no numbers here; it is more of stories or practice. 

In a limited-over cricket match, when you have to score 20 runs in 5 balls, looking at the scoreboard does not help; what helps is net practice, where we practice these scenarios.  Practice helps build the skill and also changes our self-talk during these situations. 

I remember chatting with a senior leader during a workshop over a coffee break.  He said," I want to keep an hour for myself between 9 am and 10 am, but I just can't.  Either someone walks into my office, or I get pulled into a meeting.  I need to start this.  I am not working for myself".  This is the business case for taking a pause- I want to work for myself.

The Business case for taking a Pause is to work for myself

I often ask my clients to check their calendar, which is full of meetings, reviews, and travel.  The conversation goes like this-

Me- When do you do the work?

Client- Mostly during the meetings.  Sometimes between meetings.

Me- What do you do in those times?

Client- Preparing for the meetings. 

Me- When do you plan for yourself?

Client- Ummm.  I don't. 

Let us get the basics right here.  Any behavior happens when three things come together- 

• Motivation- I want to do it. Adults do what they want to do.

• Ability- I can do it 

• Prompt- A reminder or a nudge to do it.

For example, we pick up a phone call when the phone rings (prompt), and I want to pick up the call ( a dear friend or colleague is calling, motivation),  and I can take the call (ability) because the phone is with me. 

Like in review meetings, we plan, and our behavior change needs a plan, too.  Behavior change is complex :-).  The old behavior is like the comfortable, worn-out shoe, which does not look good, but the new shoe bites for a few days.  So whenever the question of behavior change comes, we find an easier question that seems more relevant and answer that instead.  Invariably, we see a "reasonable answer" and drop the subject happily.

Then where do we start?  Let's start with the prompt.  Blocking time in your calendar is the prompt. 

• To start with, block 30 minutes in your calendar per week. You can do it bi-weekly for 15- 20 minutes each. I suggest blocking 10 minutes a day. A good time can be 

  • "After I open my laptop in the office " OR

  • “After I finish my last email of the day,” OR

  • If you are in the field for customer meetings, "After I finish my last customer meeting.." I hope you get the drift. Could you line it up after a regular daily action? It will act as a prompt.

• Now let's see how to spend this time. Here is what I heard from my clients

  • "It is difficult to just sit without a number agenda for myself. I feel restless and like seeing my phone; I almost wait for a beep to pick it up. So I turn the ringer off and put it face down. I keep a notebook and a pen."

  • Do a quick check-in with yourself- How am I feeling? It helps to tune in.  

  • "How was my yesterday, or the last three days, or the last week?" - depending on the frequency.

  • "What did I do according to my plan? What mindset or behaviors of mine were helpful?"

  • "I find it difficult to acknowledge my good work. I am so happy to unleash my inner drill surgent who keeps telling me what has not gone well. I am trying to acknowledge my good work. Just staying with the thought for 5 seconds is not easy. But I am reaching there." ( A reflection question- when did you last give yourself a pat on the back?)

  • "Could I have done something differently? How can I do it from now on?"

  • Imagine how you will feel when you can implement your planned changes.

  • Imagine what internal barriers you see. E.g., "I may forget," or "I am traveling," or "I will be busy."

    • For each of them, finish the sentence - "When am traveling or If I am traveling, I will…."

    • For each internal barrier, plan an action.

    • We must take note of both the positive side of the achievement and the internal barriers that can come in the way. In Rethinking Positive Thinking, Gabriele Oettingen observes that "we must dream our future dreams, but then to identify and imagine what inner obstacles or hindrances of reality prevent us from achieving these dreams" makes things happen.

  • Give a pat on your back for spending this time with yourself for moving forward. You can find your positive stroke. A quick "pat on the back" gives a positive reinforcement to your new behavior. Treat them as your "Tiny self claps." In your behavior change journey, you are your cheerleader. 

Our idea of action is what we do with others.  It is time to revisit and challenge this idea.  To do good work, you must be better than you were yesterday.  We plan a project, review it, course correct on the way, and the project becomes successful.  What about "Project You"?

Tom Peters once said- "Excellence is the next 5 minutes".  I say excellence is your next pause.  Make it count.  Be kind in acknowledging your successes and failures, and be tough in asking questions to yourself and holding yourself accountable.  Let's start one pause at a time.